ECHOES

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Catechesis in the Family

As parents become more attuned to their children's spirituality they often ask about their role in catechesis. It is an essential, constant partner with formal religious education. In this issue, two articles, quotes form Maria Montessori, some notes from parents of children at Christian Family Montessori School, and anecdotes from chidren at home, support parents as they enjoy and nurture their children's relationship with God.

Following are excerpted articles from this issue of Echoes:

Complete copies may be ordered from the Center for Children and Theology for $3. Contact us through email at cct1680@aol.com.

• Heaven and Home by Catherine Maresca
  
• Notes from Home
  Parents offer their reflections on their children's spiritual lifes
  
• from Maria Montessori's The Child in the Family

Heaven and Home

By Catherine Maresca

"Then, as he was praying, the heaven opened: the Holy Spirit came down upon him in the bodily form of a dove and a voice from heaven was heard." (Luke 3:21-22)

Ordinarily, heaven seems to be closed. We can neither see nor hear God clearly, though we strive to believe and follow. Those fortunate enough to be with Jesus the day of his Baptism did experience heaven; they saw and heard God. The event was striking enough to be recorded in each of the four Gospels.

Young children also experience heaven as "open." Sofia Cavalletti says that they move easily between the physical and metaphysical. The boundary is permeable, and the physical serves as a sign of the spiritual. Those of us fortunate enough to be near young children benefit like the crowd around Jesus: we too experience heaven, and are helped to see and hear God.

Parents are in the most privileged position to enjoy their children's experience of God. Young children may move into the metaphysical world at any time, and rarely choose the structured hours of religious education or worship to do so. Those hours in church are like invitations that the child may respond to hours or days after they actually occur. And parents are the most likely people to be present when it happens.

As a parent, I heard my young children awaken singing, "Alleluia"; use a potty break to sing, 'Angels we have heard on high'; swing and sing, 'Jesus Loves Me'; sing songs of praise while riding in the car; and make up their own songs using phrases from the Bible or liturgy. These moments brought me back to mindfulness of God, and with my children I enjoyed God's constant presence.

One afternoon, as I was reading quietly, Julie and Katie, ages 6 and 4, put on some ballet music and began to dance. Suddenly they began to speak to each other about their shared experience of heaven at that moment. With voices full of wonder they said, "Look!"  "It's beautiful!" "It's heaven!" This continued for several moments, and while I could not see heaven myself, I certainly got a taste of its enchantment and beauty.

Another day my husband, Charley, was chatting with a group of friends who had gathered for dinner and a prayer meeting. Kevin, age 4, overheard him say laughingly, "After all, you only live once." Kevin cheerfully piped up, "No you don't, you live twice, once here, and once in heaven." All of us were again put in the presence of the eternal love of God.

Another child, age 4, from our atrium was baking bread with her mother. "Mommy," she asked, "do you want to be part of the kingdom of God?" "Yes, I do," her mother answered. "Then eat the bread," said Maria.

With this issue of ECHOES we focus on catechesis in the home. The root of "catechesis" is "echo', and children as well as adults echo the love and presence of God in our lives. There is a mutual gift present, we as adults can receive as much as we offer from our children. Their youngest years are priceless in this regard, for they rarely hide their life with God from us. We begin catechesis with our children by observing and respecting their relationship with God. This relationship exists outside of our efforts or control, and it may effectively deepen our own understanding and enjoyment of God.

As we understand our children's spirituality, we find our own contribution to catechesis. This includes a home that reflects our faith, the use of small rituals that call our hearts and mind to God, the response to a child's crisis or question with an aspect of our faith that can comfort them, and allowing our own relationship with God to be observed by them.

For example, Charley used to dance Julie to sleep as an infant to the music of the St. Louis Jesuits that he loved. We take the moment before eating dinner together to light a candle and offer the names of people we are praying for.

I wrote and hung on the wall Jesus' words, "I am the resurrection and the life," to help Katie, age 3 1/2, when a friend of ours died, and she repeated them daily for a while. And when I was rising before dawn one month to pray before the children woke up, Katie discovered me and began to get up too, sitting quietly and watching my candle.

Finally, parents of young children are in a unique position to share the riches of catechesis at home with their faith community. Offer your children's spontaneous celebrations and insights to your friends, your pastor, your parish catechists, etc. so that they too may savor "heaven open" and enjoy the sight and sound of God among us.

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Notes from Home

I was a catechist before I was a parent, and our children attend a school that incorporates the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. While I have not had materials at home the catechesis training has helped me to listen to my children's sporadic reflections as they come and to ask questions that lead us all to ponder rather than supply my own answers.

Recently I sang, "Blowin' in the Wind" to my children at bedtime. When it ended I asked, "I wonder what he means by 'the answer is blowing in the wind'?" At first my five and eight year old boys said, "I don't know." We all remained silent and then the eight year old said, "That reminds me of church, like Fr. Bruce said sometimes the answer is right here, right with us, but we have to see it." (I was completely astounded that he had taken note of anything said in church, because you would never know it from watching him.) Then I asked, "I wonder how you can 'see' an answer in the wind?" He said, "With our hearts."

   - Judy Walsh-Mellett

The atrium experience, carried home in the hearts of our children, bring richness to the spiritual life of our family. We do not have to duplicate the atrium environment at home. But the children do enrich our family prayer time with gestures, songs and prayers they have absorbed in the atrium.

We do have a prayer table and use cloths in the liturgical colors and a candle snuffer. But our prayer table holds original family "icons" not found in the atrium. These might be a laminated card from a loved one, a photo, a prayer card or a child's original art work. A small figure of baby Jesus, held by a family member, signifies that she or he is having their turn to offer prayer or song.

Christmas through Epiphany we have processions and reenactments of the journey of the Holy Family. We carry the figures from the creche and play the parts of the figures. The children move Mary and Joseph daily from stair step to block box to bookshelf as they approach the stable, arriving on Christmas Eve. The shepherds follow and, later, the magi. This tradition evolved from my own childhood home.

As time goes by we feel become more sure of the complimentary nature of the children's atrium and home experiences. Our home life is deeply affected by the atrium experience of our children. And each family's own rituals and the love and security those traditions convey are brought to the atrium and enrich and warm the circle made there.

    -Cathleen Cooney, mother of Paul, 7 and Margaret, 3 1/2.

When my oldest child started in an atrium program, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. His first two months were not really in the atrium. His catechist reported that he stood in the doorway absorbing lessons, materials and songs only from a distance. But within a couple of months a transformation occurred in our home. My son was singing songs he had learned in the atrium all day long and he began to contribute to our family prayers. His nourished spiritual life enriched and encouraged me to learn more about the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd and integrate some of its more simple "works" into our home life.

Now I am careful to watch for times when my children's ears are open to a lesson or teaching. I take care to notice when a particular lesson from school draws the children in, and am able to continue the reflection with them. Many moments of wonder come to us in nature, while we are lying on our backs looking at clouds or on our stomachs looking at ants. We have learned to have hearts open to the moment.

I purchased Scripture Booklets from the Center for Children and Theology. The reading of the Scriptures lead to reflections, some silent, some spoken during our weekly family meetings. Common atrium songs are learned and sung as much during car trips as during evening prayer.

We set up a prayer table in a quiet yet accessible space and gather around it regularly as a family. Changing the cloth in accordance with the liturgical season has become a greatly anticipated rite. The children also add gifts of nature, special prayer cards, icons or photos of loved ones we wish to keep in our prayers. Their access to the table gives them ownership of it.

Today when I asked my youngest child, nearing his third birthday, if he too would like to start in the atrium he gave a peaceful smile and said, "My heart is open."

     -Amy Crossed-Rieck

From Maria Montessori's The Child in the Family



Now, as ever, almost all mothers are well versed in the kind of physical care necessary for the growth of their children and they know the rules of proper diet, proper adjustment to temperature and the advantages of play in the fresh air that increases the oxygen supply to the lungs. The child is not merely a little animal to feed, but from the time of his birth, a creature with a spirit. If we must look after his welfare, then it is not enough to content ourselves with his physical needs: we must open the way for his spiritual development. We must, from the very first day, respect the impulses of his spirit and know how to support them.

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The child is a spiritual embryo which must come to live for itself in the environment. But like the physical embryo, the spiritual embryo must be protected by an external environment where it is wholly accepted and never inhibited...The figure of the child as spiritual embryo confronts us and imposes new responsibilites. That tender, graceful little being, whom we adore and whom we overwhelm with material things and who is almost like a toy to us, must inspire reverence in us.

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Perhaps many doubt that an inner life exists in the very young child. Certainly, these people must learn to understand the special language of the spirit if they would understand the needs of these tiny beings and be persuaded of the importance of these needs for the life that is developing.

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The child is sensitive to everything and impressionable to such a degree that the adult ought to monitor everything he says and does, for everything is literally engraved in the child's mind.

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The child who loves wakes not only to the morning but also to his father and mother who sleep too much and are often asleep throughout their lives. We all have the tendency to sleep through things, yet, with the coming of a child, there is a new being who awakens us and keeps us awake with means that are not ours, a being who operates in a way different from our way and who appears every morning as if to say, "Look, there is another life; you can live better than you do."